Leave Them Green With Envy

Envy.jpg

Psychology Today describes envy as: Envy is a secretly held emotion. If you are envious of someone it's unlikely that you will admit it to anyone, except perhaps to someone who might also be envious of that other person and will participate with you in denigrating them. The circumstances in which you might be envious will always involve a social comparison or competition between yourself and another person. Such competition and comparison with others are a part of the yardstick by which you measure yourself--your self-evaluation. Since envy is triggered only when you come up short, that's part of the reason why it is experienced as such an "ugly" emotion. In order to adjust the measurements that will neutralize your envy, you will have to diminish the source, elevate yourself, or do both. Envy makes you work hard and it seems as though you keep coming back again and again to measuring your self-worth against that of the other person.

There are good things we can learn from the emotion of envy. When you walk into a room, and you are aware of your Life Brand others take notice. This is a good thing. When you are sure of yourself and living a life you love, others can look admiration and learn from you. Once you reach this place some may or may not understand, but be open and willing to share. It's important that you spread the wisdom you've gained. Knowing your self and being aligned with your destiny is very exciting, it literally exudes from your being. So once you experience this share with others. The world would be a much better place. 

The Positives of Envy: 

Envy motivates: 

envy can motivate, as long as you compare yourself to the right person. If he or she is in your league, then they can push you on to greater achievements

Envy feels good:

most people automatically compare themselves with people doing better than themselves. And when we see other people doing better than us, it can give us hope, which makes us feel good.

Envy makes you more creative:

People who are doing better than us can spur us on to be more creative.

Envy makes you smarter: 

In the same way as it can make you more creative, being envious can make you smarter

Envy can change your perspective

So envy isn’t all bad, as long as it isn’t destructive. It’s natural and beneficial to compare ourselves upwards with people doing a bit better than ourselves as long as we don’t let the green monster out of its cage.

The Things Envy can teach us:

So what can my envy teach me?

1. What can I learn from his success that I can apply to my plans?

2. What stopped me from playing a bigger game like the one he is playing? If I am so smart with so much more to say, how can I play at that level too?

3. Have I set the right standards for my own success? Maybe I'm not celebrating what I have created enough. And if I want more recognition, how can I thank my colleague for showing me ways to achieve it instead of just envying his success?

If we embrace our emotions, whatever they are, we can learn from them. They are there to teach us and help us make major life decisions. Envy can open up doors you never saw or were afraid to walk through before. Jealousy can lead you to treasure things and people you might have taken for granted.

Article Resources: Psychology Today PsyBlog